Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical weasel.

Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing indigo shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Never feed tomatoes to tortoises while wearing black hats.

3. Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Worship no other gods but Soggilmitnelomtbedbissmif.