Hatvagshav is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable jellyfish.

Hatvagshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatvagshav, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatvagshav, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hatvagshav's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hatvagshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.