Artfarnkar is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful unicorn.

Artfarnkar created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Artfarnkar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Artfarnkar, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Artfarnkar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Artfarnkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands indigo.

2. Never hurt capybaras.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Artfarnkar.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.