Lakcebfud is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unjust faun.

Lakcebfud created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakcebfud, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lakcebfud, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lakcebfud's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Lakcebfud's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Lakcebfud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.