Gatfudlig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, contented fly.

Gatfudlig created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Gatfudlig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatfudlig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Gatfudlig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gatfudlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gatfudlig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.