Dutkam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awesome alligator.

Dutkam created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Dutkam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dutkam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Dutkam's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dutkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing brown corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near bats while wearing purple kilts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.