Bepbondog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical badger.

Bepbondog created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Bepbondog, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bepbondog, she will turn you into a worm.

Bepbondog's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bepbondog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing red shirts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your hands.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. You must love Bepbondog.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.