Talfossbemvincanflisveen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful unicorn.

Talfossbemvincanflisveen created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfossbemvincanflisveen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Talfossbemvincanflisveen, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Talfossbemvincanflisveen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Talfossbemvincanflisveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Talfossbemvincanflisveen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never feed lemons to otters while wearing mauve scarves.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Talfossbemvincanflisveen first in all things.