Lapgartaf is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, annoying deer.

Lapgartaf created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Lapgartaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lapgartaf, it will be very unhappy.

Lapgartaf's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lapgartaf's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Lapgartaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never play with disobedient children.