Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, generous lion.

Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of manatees.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never paint your head mauve.

4. Vonkfedvog Sugnegtit must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Foxes are not to be trusted.