Timcuttip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, competent otter.

Timcuttip created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcuttip, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Timcuttip, he will refuse to believe in you.

Timcuttip's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Timcuttip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Timcuttip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think ill of sick nematodes.