Yarpquamcit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, clever pig.

Yarpquamcit created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpquamcit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarpquamcit, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarpquamcit's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yarpquamcit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarpquamcit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never eat green fruit.