Hakcapladbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciful manatee.

Hakcapladbaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakcapladbaf, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hakcapladbaf, it will manifest in front of you.

Hakcapladbaf's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hakcapladbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Worship no other gods but Hakcapladbaf.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Do not listen to music.