Quimmidtik is a god.
He takes the form of a very long, pitiless
slug.
Quimmidtik created life five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Quimmidtik, he will give you a free moon.
If you do not believe in
Quimmidtik, he will turn you into a rock.
Quimmidtik's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.
Quimmidtik's Holy Commandments1. Do not speak about apples.
2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.
4. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.
5. Do not cook food in pots.