Donyarlfossjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient yak.

Donyarlfossjap created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donyarlfossjap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Donyarlfossjap, it will turn you into a mole.

Donyarlfossjap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Donyarlfossjap's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near doves while wearing magenta dresses and balancing six nickel spheres on your chest.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.