Cedfetstik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional giraffe.

Cedfetstik created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cedfetstik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedfetstik, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cedfetstik's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cedfetstik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cedfetstik.