Bedtitbun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonourable raven.

Bedtitbun created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedtitbun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bedtitbun, it will turn you into a dog.

Bedtitbun's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bedtitbun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bedtitbun first in all things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bedtitbun.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.