Stanjarnfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a large, strong fox.

Stanjarnfarn created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanjarnfarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stanjarnfarn, he will turn you into a rock.

Stanjarnfarn's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Stanjarnfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stanjarnfarn.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stanjarnfarn.

4. Stanjarnfarn loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Always help bats.