Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unselfish dryad.

Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit, he will turn you into a rock.

Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vinmiltungutfligtonkcanwit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not keep three monkeys in a large pit.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.