Ranbidyak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome scorpion.

Ranbidyak created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranbidyak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ranbidyak, he will not invite you to parties.

Ranbidyak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ranbidyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always wear black.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away if seven shrews approach from the west.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.