Baf Fumfubvid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane slug.

Baf Fumfubvid created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Baf Fumfubvid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Baf Fumfubvid, he will come to you in dreams.

Baf Fumfubvid's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Baf Fumfubvid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Baf Fumfubvid.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never skip near capybaras.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.