Quafstigbon is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, deceitful skunk.

Quafstigbon created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafstigbon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quafstigbon, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quafstigbon's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quafstigbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always pray immersed in water.