Bossquillen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring tortoise.

Bossquillen created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bossquillen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bossquillen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bossquillen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bossquillen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near goats while wearing fawn rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your arms.