Jenmindut is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciless whale.

Jenmindut created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenmindut, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jenmindut, it will turn you into a goat.

Jenmindut's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jenmindut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to nematodes while wearing boots.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jenmindut.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Never talk about badgers.