Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane horse.

Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem, she will destroy your home planet.

Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about special relativity near great tits while wearing magenta shorts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must love Witsugwan Loopyatteen Hivditgepgem.