Hogfaghun is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind crocodile.

Hogfaghun created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogfaghun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hogfaghun, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hogfaghun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hogfaghun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must pray to Hogfaghun four times a day.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.