Talgarfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate wren.

Talgarfeb created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talgarfeb, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Talgarfeb, it will turn you into a mole.

Talgarfeb's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Talgarfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help voles.

5. Never pour water over plants.