Jatnakfet is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate shark.

Jatnakfet created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatnakfet, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jatnakfet, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jatnakfet's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jatnakfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.