Fasyattfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable hamster.

Fasyattfarn created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasyattfarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fasyattfarn, he will turn you into a slug.

Fasyattfarn's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fasyattfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Never feed lots of garlic to shrews while wearing magenta hats.

5. Do not speak about spinach.