Yattgutwipbiss is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful weasel.

Yattgutwipbiss created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattgutwipbiss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yattgutwipbiss, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yattgutwipbiss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Yattgutwipbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Yattgutwipbiss must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must pray to Yattgutwipbiss three times a day.