Flisvinleg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless gorilla.

Flisvinleg created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flisvinleg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flisvinleg, he will send minions to preach to you.

Flisvinleg's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flisvinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not sprint in public.