Midcedbell is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, clever tortoise.

Midcedbell created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midcedbell, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Midcedbell, she will make you grow a tail.

Midcedbell's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Midcedbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Midcedbell in the centre of the settlement.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.