Bembifgat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, generous seal.

Bembifgat created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bembifgat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bembifgat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bembifgat's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bembifgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Bembifgat in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Respect your elders.