Wontarquat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous hydra.

Wontarquat created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wontarquat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wontarquat, he will remove you from existence.

Wontarquat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wontarquat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Wontarquat.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Worship no other gods but Wontarquat.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.