Bitfasgep is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring guinea pig.

Bitfasgep created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitfasgep, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitfasgep, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bitfasgep's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bitfasgep's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Never pour water over plants.