Volgebrul Naktigjop is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient goblin.

Volgebrul Naktigjop created the Milkyway twelve years ago.

If you believe in Volgebrul Naktigjop, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Volgebrul Naktigjop, he will send you a sign.

Volgebrul Naktigjop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Volgebrul Naktigjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Volgebrul Naktigjop's priests.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near great tits while wearing pink ear rings and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

4. Always help voles.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Volgebrul Naktigjop.