Bapdibbellkom is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish clam.

Bapdibbellkom created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Bapdibbellkom, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bapdibbellkom, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bapdibbellkom's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bapdibbellkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never feed strawberries to rats while wearing violet kilts.

5. Do not commit murder.