Flagmummat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic squirrel.

Flagmummat created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagmummat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flagmummat, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flagmummat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Flagmummat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide if seven badgers approach from the east.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.