Tiffatfutkipdimstignur is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, blissful raccoon.

Tiffatfutkipdimstignur created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiffatfutkipdimstignur, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tiffatfutkipdimstignur, she will turn you into a worm.

Tiffatfutkipdimstignur's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tiffatfutkipdimstignur's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tiffatfutkipdimstignur.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed cherries to foxes while wearing violet scarves.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.