Bitripligsinhapzag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart monkey.

Bitripligsinhapzag created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bitripligsinhapzag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bitripligsinhapzag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bitripligsinhapzag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bitripligsinhapzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Bitripligsinhapzag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Do not hop in public.