Midtenzed is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sage squid.

Midtenzed created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midtenzed, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Midtenzed, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Midtenzed's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Midtenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing shorts.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Always help gulls in need.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.