Latwigfas is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome tortoise.

Latwigfas created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Latwigfas, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Latwigfas, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Latwigfas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Latwigfas' Holy Commandments

1. Latwigfas loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.