Fotlatbataf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional yak.

Fotlatbataf created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotlatbataf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fotlatbataf, he will laugh at you.

Fotlatbataf's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fotlatbataf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Never talk about spacetime near geese while wearing magenta rings.

5. Fotlatbataf must be the most important thing in your life.