Quim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, annoying hummingbird.

Quim created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quim, she will be very unhappy.

Quim's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. You must never eat aubergines.