Futmapdud is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, generous dryad.

Futmapdud created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Futmapdud, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Futmapdud, he will turn you into a duck.

Futmapdud's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Futmapdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Futmapdud on top of all buildings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must pray to Futmapdud nine times a day.