Pitrulsat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, slow lion.

Pitrulsat created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitrulsat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pitrulsat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pitrulsat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Pitrulsat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pitrulsat.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat bark.