Kanwikjat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, loving goblin.

Kanwikjat created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanwikjat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kanwikjat, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kanwikjat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Kanwikjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing blue hats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about gravity near voles while wearing orange corsets and balancing four silicon spheres on your legs.

5. Do not chop down trees.