Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, selfish meerkat.

Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cetlitflis Kap Cattamcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about dark energy near mice while wearing gray scarves and balancing five lead spheres on your feet.

5. Do not listen to music.