Fotwabwad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, conceited warg.

Fotwabwad created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotwabwad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotwabwad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fotwabwad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fotwabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Worship no other gods but Fotwabwad.