Rigpomarf is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered newt.

Rigpomarf created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rigpomarf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rigpomarf, he will turn you into a goat.

Rigpomarf's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Rigpomarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.